GIRLFRIENDS. The one thing ladies can’t live without. Having your girlfriends is like having your sanity. They’re your go-tos when it comes to relationship problems, family problems, career problems, or just life problems in general. They’re also the first people you’d like to go out and hang with, or just have fun with. You know they’ve got your back, and you’ve got theirs. The thing is, how do you feel about or react towards every other woman outside of that girlfriend pool? How about that lady whose skirt you were admiring while she walked past you on the streets today, or the 20-something who looked like you could get along with who sat next to you on the bus? I personally tend to feel comrade with my fellow women, especially those within the same age range as I.
I have an unspoken “Girl Code” in my head, and this isn’t one of those things with rules about guys, but more about guidelines as to how I should treat my fellow women-beings. I sometimes end up breaking one or two of them, and that either comes with good reason, or ends in guilt afterwards. Support, not judge, and just have each other’s backs – not too much to ask, me thinks. Here’s how I see it:
Don’t make mean comments about another woman’s hair, clothing or physical appearance, especially body size (covered below). If she’s gotten her style wrong, or if her makeup’s the wrong shade, you can possibly state the facts but not make a demeaning comment about it.
Don’t hate on someone you don’t know – everyone isn’t out to get you, and if she’s doing something to annoy you or encroach on your personal space, just let her know in a nice way.
Don’t judge a mother and how she’s handling her child, unless she’s being physically abusive – it is hard to be a mom, and everyone’s just trying to do their best. You don’t know how another woman’s day went, so don’t judge!
Don’t hate on another woman’s success, because really, her success means that the general success of women as a whole is rising.
Don’t judge another woman’s lifestyle – her life, her rules, unless she’s hurting someone or affecting your life.
If you don’t respect other women, how can you expect men to respect women as a whole?
2. Body Image
Don’t hate on women who are “too skinny” or “too fat” because guess what, not your body! Everyone’s struggling or working with what they have, and it really isn’t anyone’s place to call someone else fat. Let me tell you, I got called fat last year by someone I worked with, and it took the wind out of me – completely hurtful & uncalled for, and very very nasty, especially since I wasn’t overweight, just shaped differently from her. (She was petite and skinny.) I’m very glad my friends and I make no jokes at the expense of other people’s bodies, and that’s something I fervently stick with.
Body image is something that we as women have been battling with for the longest time. Rather than bring down someone else because they’re not shaped or sized like you, why not encourage and praise the other positive aspects? However, if someone you know has health issues due to their weight, step up and let them know that you think working out and a change of diet will benefit them, and maybe even offer to start a new regime with them. All about support, ladies.
3. How about the men?
Never stay silent if your friend is dating a jerk, but put it to her in a nice way of course.
Never date a friend’s ex or date someone a friend used to date. It’s a boundary that really shouldn’t be crossed. (Unless she’s good with it.)
Never go out alone with a friend’s boyfriend, unless you’re out to shop for an engagement or wedding ring for her.
Stand up for women against men – I don’t like calling this aspect of myself “feminist” but if a guy starts going on about how women are “emotional” or “fragile” etc, I tend to go on full Mama bear mode. I stand up for women first, and I really don’t enjoy men judging women for their emotions. In the fight of Man vs Woman, woman wins.
Always help a girlfriend out if she’s getting unwanted attention from a man, and this applies to women you don’t know too. If someone looks uncomfortable, walk up to her and ask her if she needs help.
4. Support & Inspiration
It is extremely inspiring for me when I see women in power or women who have achieved personal success. It acts as personal motivation, and a shining example of who I can become. I love it when I see a woman who’s the sole breadwinner of the family and loving it, and when her husband supports her 100%, my heart just wells up with joy.
Support your friends in their endeavors and life dreams. & when it’s that time of the month, comfort with chocolate and lots of understanding.
If a woman looks intoxicated / drunk and isn’t with friends or looks like she needs help, always help and make sure she gets into a cab safely.
If a friend has been dumped, presence is 100% required and clear your entire schedule just for her to mope, eat ice cream and watch movies.
I personally really like this version of the Girl Code – with gifs and all – cracks me up!
What do you think of the girl code, and is there anything you would or would never do when it comes to girlfriends or just other women in general?